to me finishing an exam is one of those complex feelings where you don’t really know what comes after. before the midterm you feel nervous, after you either want to cry tears of happiness or misery. but at least you’re done. you know you can remove those tabs off your computer and clean your room and actually just sleep.
unfortunately midterms can happen multiple times in a week and then you can’t do anything but suffer through it. but after a midterm i always feel like a brand new person. like i can finally fold all the clothes on my bed, and move the stuff from my chair. take out the trash and clean my desk, and open my windows. i can light a candle and vacuum my floor. i find it insane how this one exam can affect our lives so much. we are so consumed that we don’t have time to cook or see our friends or go to the gym.
we just think about this exam and so many other things we have to do and how we think we might fail but we might actually understand the material but then we might just not. even if its stressful i find myself missing this amount of focus and determination over the summer. but when college returns in the fall i never miss it. but i feel so much lighter after and that i’ve had so much to do the last week that after the midterm i just feel like i have so much time.
unfortunately it all comes back when you get the notification that your exam is graded and you just close your eyes and hope for the best.
bad grade = upset
below class average = terribly upset
but exams happen all the time. some of them you care more about and some you just move on
knowing you did your best and sometimes its not enough. you just become better.
